Calamity Jane's

GrillMarks finds a local pizza-burger:

The Pizza burger post from a few days ago made me think of Calamity Jane's. Two locations, One in Newberg and the other just east of Sandy on 26. This self stylized burger parlor has something like 30 different burgers not counting the 10 different pizza burgers. Being on the wrong end of a rain storm that canceled my hike I found my self out past Sandy and decided to swing in. Having been in the past I can say in spite of what you see and what I am going to write you should go. Many of their burgers, excluding the one I just had on my ill fated journey, are tasty, and while the place is ultra kitschy nothing beats shoveling down a monster burger after a day on the mountain. Burgers are in the $8-10 range and you get pile of fries and they are open till 9 on weekends.

Anyway back to the story. This is a bigger is better place and their burgers come in 1/3, 2/3, and full pound denominations. I was feeling demure so I ordered the city slicker sized (1/3 lb) Pepperoni pizza burger. This comes with a bun, burger, pepperoni, olives, mozzarella cheese, and tomato sauce. Already sensing a challenge to my girlish figure I get the salad side and their refillable jumbo diet coke. While I get my salad and diet coke there is a mix up in the kitchen that would prove to be my undoing. Somewhere between me saying I wanted a small burger and that burger getting made I ended up with the Ranch Hand (full pound). As you can see from the picture this thing is a monster. That is a full size steak knife sticking out of it and all you can see is the handle.

Slightly stunned I start to dig in. There is a layer of cheese between each 1/3 pound patty which converts this from a large but tasty treat to a gut bomb. Three 1/3 pound patties done to the other side of well done that appear to be straight out of a freezer. Good thing I have the super tanker diet coke. After making some little progress I realize if I have any chance of getting out alive I am going to have to jettison some of this meat. Ripping out the two most over cooked patties I am left with a reasonable burger which actually tasters pretty good when my mouth is not full of burger patty. I like to think I limped out of their with my dignity but I am afraid that is a sham.

Calamity Janes
42015 SE Highway 26
Sandy, OR 97055
(503)668-7817

Calamity Jane's
1111 N Highway 99W
Dundee, OR 97115
(503)538-9407