J&M house

Frequent Hamburgler Pdxgwailo is officially evolving into burgerdogboy and writes in with a tasty treat from PDX:

Someday I am going to endeavor to find out the origin of the proliferation of “teriyaki burger” establishments in the Pacific Northwest.  For those not in the know, no, these are not places that glaze a puck with T sauce, but rather combo Japanese/(limited) America cafes, diners, lunch counters.

My local neighborhood one, J&M house, I have driven by a thousand times but never stopped in, as it is in very close proximity to Humdinger Burgers, so the thought of going to a “T-Burger” never appealed to me until today, when my better 2/3rds announced she was taking me to lunch and she wanted a bento box. Gazing at the sign as we drove up, I noticed not only did J & M offer teriyaki and charbroiled burgers, but they also had free wifi, AND a fax machine (said so right on their sign!). I’m so there!

We ordered at the counter, after perusing their menu board, which boasts about their home style cooking and no MSG added, my S.O. went with the spicy combo lunch, and I, being not nearly so brave, went for the double cheeseburger with fries included, Diet Dr. Pepper on the side. For what it was, the double cheeseburger was a masterpiece; the counter woman actually asked me how I wanted it prepared and dressed, and accommodated my wishes. Twin food service pucks on a bakery roll, the meat seasoned with a facsimile of Seasoned Salt, and perfectly salted thick cut fries and 3 packets of Hunts Ketchup (”It’s thick!”) on the side.

J&M House
8981 SW. Barbur Blvd.
Portland, OR 97219
ph: 503.452.7909

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Tabor Food Cart

I am really beginning to like PDX Gwailo's Philosophy on Hamburgers:
(edit: I see some are criticizing this comment. Hey, it's a personal opinion, let's all get along and share our burger love!)

Hey, in my mind, if it’s cooked meat in a bun, it’s a burger.

Being as it was “National Schnitzel Day,” I went for the Schnitzelburger, ok, they call it a SchnitzelWICH, but it’s cooked meat in a bun, so it’s a burger to me.

A lightly fried (HUGE) breaded pork cutlet, on a ciabatta with generous toppings of lettuce, a unique paprika spread, sauteed onions and horseradish. Usually I order my sandwiches plain, so I can see what the meat of the matter tastes like, but today I went with it loaded up the way they sell it. And it was grand.

It was almost 11AM and the lines were already starting to form at the hunk of food carts that sits between Stark and Oak, so I am glad I was early, the first customer at Tabor, and the wich was cooked to order.

Tabor Food Cart
5th and Stark

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Lew’s Drive In

PDX Gwailo Drops by with some more Beef Wisdom:

“Drive-In.” “Coney Islands”. “Hamburgers.” I’m so there.

My seating choice was outside, but they took my order at the inside counter after answering a few relevant (to me) questions: “Are the tots fried or baked?” “Fried.” “Does the “Coney Island Hamburger” have a hot dog on top, or just the sauce?” Just the sauce.

I overordered. Or as a drinker might say, “I was overserved.” The burger was dressed with lettuce, tomato, mayo, pickle, and the coney sauce, and was pretty darned tasty.

The HUGE dog has an ashen appearance, boiled or steamed too long, they turn gray before yellow (ever had a hot dog under the Eiffel Tower?). But I ate it, the coney sauce is thick with meat and (mostly) onion, but soaks into the bun a little too much (on the burger too), making it difficult to perch this sausage to ones lips without some part of it falling back to earth. No sweat.

Lew’s is a treat, I’d like to explore the rest of the menu sometime, the waitress said they have killer biscuits and gravy. We’ll see!

Lew's Drive-in
14911 SE Mcloughlin Blvd
Oak Grove, OR 97267-2824

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Grilled Cheese Grill

Huh.....What the hell is PDXGwailo trying to get at

Oh, wait. Is that....A Burger.....on GRILLED CHEESE???!!?

I'll let him tell the rest:

Who can pass up a restaurant that only features grilled cheese sammiches? Not I. Especially when one choice is the Cheesus Burger, a 1/3 pound burger with two grilled cheese sammiches in lieu of buns? Now that’s a mouthful! Also sampled, the “Gabby”, four different cheeses on white, and a cup of creamy tomato soup………as the menu says, “What else would you dip your sandwich in?”What else indeed? The Grilled Cheese Grill is located in a trailer and a school bus (where you can sit, eat, and play boardgames), at 1027 NE Alberta Street. Small aside to those bringing tots. No bathroom on site. Or within walking distance. This is Portland “cart food” taken the to the next level! Bonus pickle spear!

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Seattle: Mike's Chili Parlor

So after some computer issues, let the blogging commence...

PDXGwailo hit's the road again and sends us in some awesome burgers.

Now in the hands of the 4th generation, Mike’s Chili Parlor has been serving their “secret recipe” chili solo, or with burgers, dog since 1922. I saw this on “Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives” and it seemed worth checking out. A modest place, a little north of downtown Seattle, Mike’s appears to be the last building standing in a big to-do of urban renewal. I’ll bet there was a fuss about that when the developer wanted that whole block!

In any other city, Mike’s would just be the friendly neighborhood bar, and it appeared the customers today (tho they were few) were “all the usual suspects”. I walked in, read the menu board, and the printed menu, and a waitress told me to sit down and she would take my order. I asked if I could go outside on the patio, and she said she didn’t think it was open, but then she unlocked the door for me and led me outside.

I ordered the “Chili cheeseburger combo” for $7, and a Sprite to wash it down. It was a massive serving, a fork affair, a large burger and bun covered with chili, cheese, and onions, the sandwich almost happily floating in the soup. While the patty itself was indistinguishable in its own right, the great chili and the experience was enough to overlook that.

Mike's Chili Parlor
1447 NW Ballard Way
Seattle, WA 98107
206.782.2808

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California: Rosti

I think PDX Gwailo's calling all of us out!

Who goes looking for a burger at a classy Italian place? Who actually orders one? PDXGwailo, that’s who. While you guys are safely hidden between your screens vicariously eating, I’m taking one for the team. Or two. Or six. Mmmmmm, burgers.

Rosti offers meatball sliders, 3 to an order, on fresh baked in house ciabiatta’s, some nice mozzarella, and a dab of homemade red gravy, on the burger, and on the side. The also make a full-size version. With the minis or the biggin’, you can choose beef or turkey for your grind. The beef mince was fine, no noticeable presence of additives or fillers, soft in texture, mildly-spiced. My personal palate would have preferred a heavily noticeable dose of fennel and garlic, but that’s not their recipe.

Alright Hamburlgers, to arms!

Also, for those confused on PDX Gwailo's nation hoping tour, the order of submission was lost during the blog transfer. I apologize for the confusion, and suggest you do as I do and just imagine he has a magic flying hamburger...

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Illinois: Palatine Inn (Suburban Chicago)

PDX Gwailo seeks out the Queen:

It’s not the Billy Goat (someone already posted about), but then nothing in Chicago is. But Chicago is full of good burgers, and one of the few, if not only, places I have ever been that serves the “Queen Burger” virtually everywhere. Too lazy to look up the origin, I am going to take a stab here at saying the Queen Burger is so named because it is covered with a mound of sliced (queen size) green olives, one of my three favorite things in the world to eat.

This one, at the Palatine Inn was done perfectly as requested, medium rare, served dry, with tomato, lettuce and pickle on the side. They will offer you a choice of self-applied condiments.

Bonus Pickle, and (drumroll).....Free Matzo ball soup!

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Texas: Culvers (McKinney/Dallas)

PDX Gwailo keeps going like a man obsessed (aren't we all?)

I wrote about wishing I could hit a Culver’s a couple weeks ago. Got my chance this week in McKinney, Texas, a suburb of Dallas within spitting distance of Oklahoma.

The sign outside of Culver’s says “Home of the Butterburger”, but the butter has nothing to do with the patty, but rather the fact they butter the buns, before toasting them. I don’t know whether it actually makes a difference or not, but the holy two B’s (butter and bacon) make anything better for me.

Culver’s is also known for fresh custard, whatever that is, sounds too healthy for me, and, being a Wisconsin based chain, are in the unique position to offer a side of deep-fried cheese curds.

Hand-formed patty, cooked to order, bakery buns, hot fried cheese curds and a butter burger? Heaven on a sliver of wax paper.

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Wisconson: "I Divides" adventure (Tomah)

PDX Gwailo impresses us all with and iron constitution/stomach:

A Burger where the I Divides
If you've ever driven Chicago to Minneapolis, you know where the "I" divides, it's Tomah, Wisconsin, where Interstates 90 and 94 split and go their merry ways west ward.

I only had a minute here, too damned bad, because Tomah is a cranberry mecca, and offers at least two shops full of cranberry Tschostkes. OK, I am kidding, I didn't want to hit those, but they are there. I also did not have time to visit the most excellent Midwestern burger chain "Culvers", which is home to the extremely tasty "Butterburger". Hit one of those as soon as you can.

No, I was reduced to the heat and eat 99 cents cheeseburger @ the Kwik Trip truck stop. But note that I opted for that before I would eat at the clown restaurant.

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California: Cinco De Mayo (Culver City)

Proving right his massive investment in Pepto Bismol, PDX Gwailo continues

Cinco De Mayo, Culver City, CA
Formerly “Lucy’s #2”, Cinco De Mayo is a place I have been eating burgers in the middle of the night for over 20 years. Located on Sepulveda Blvd, between Venice and Washington in Culver City, CDM is a late night hang-out for fans of fast, full-menu, cheap entrees. I’ve always had cheeseburgers there, they offer a choice between regular and jumbo, and are able to make an ordinary institutional food service burger into something rather special. The griddle-friend 3 oz patty is placed on a well-toasted bun and served with the whole range of salad condiments, pickle, onion, mayo, salad, chopped lettuce.

As you know, I prefer mine simply with pickles, onion, mustard, but in my excitement at being back at CDM for the first time in ten years, neglected to tell them. They have incredible fresh squeezed juices, as well, if you are into that kind of thing.

Cinco De Maya
11204 Washington Pl
Culver City, CA 90230

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Wisconson: Anchor Bar (Superior)

The PDX Gwailo tour continues...

The Anchor Bar, Superior, Wisconsin:
One would hope for two things: 1) the name of the town also describes the upcoming burger one is planning on consuming, and 2) in Wisconsin, one had better find some pretty damned fine cheese, even if their cows are pissed off, instead of contented like in California.

We went in search of the “Gallybuster”, which, although they couldn’t spell it correctly, promised a solid pound of ground beef and three slices of (your choice) of real cheese. Diners in close proximity to us heard us talking over the proposed entrée, and upon hearing from them that we should try the “five pounder” at a place down the street, we thought, maybe we’ll save some capacity, and go for that tomorrow, instead of this paltry 16 ouncer!

So we ordered from the menu, which had some “different” combinations, like the Green olive and Crème Cheese burger; the Sour Cream and Mushroom, the Cashew and Swiss.

I ordered a combo I have never seen anywhere, despite having traveled the globe and having consumed hamburger sandwiches for the past 116 years.

“The Reuben Burger” - a heaping mound of sauerkraut and gooey real swiss cheese atop at finely grilled burger on a fresh bakery roll, accompanied by perfect hand-cut fries. The burger was served naked, and I ordered a nice chilled bottle of IBC RB to wash it down.

It was great. Better than great. This joy is easily in my top five for the week. Worthy of “Superior.”

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Georgia: Vortex (Atlanta)

PDX Gwailo bypasses the sharp chest pains:

The Vortex, Atlanta, GA, has been on my “must………..stop………………eat” list for a long time. Underground whispers, street rumors, gossip have long been around about the famous “Double Coronary Bypass Burger”, a legend if there ever was one. One-half pound of sirloin, topped with two fried eggs, four slices of America Cheese, five slices of bacon, and the bun? Glad you asked. A singular delicious grilled cheese sandwich taking the place of each bun half. Yep, two grilled cheese sandwiches for buns.

Confronted with the option of devouring this monster, could I? Would I? Should I? Well, turns out at the last moment, someone said “try and onion rings”, and I knew I couldn’t do the Double and the rings at the same sitting, and when would I be here again?

So it was the ordinary Coronary Bypass Burger, which forgoes the grilled cheese(s) for a regular bun, is missing one fried egg, 1 strip of bacon, and 1 slice of american processed cheese food.

It was incredible.

Bonus Pickle!

Vortex
Three Locations
Atlanta, GA

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Georgia: Central City Tavern (Atlanta)

PDX Gwailo is all over the place, now in Georgia:

Anytime a restaurant stewardess tells me “Sure, y’all can substitute tater tots for fries”, I’m happier than a pig who’s been rejected for the BBQ pit. Central City Tavern was no exception; while they offered a variety of semi-uniquely decorated burgers, I opted for the blue cheese, which had a nice mix of dressing and seriously chunky real blue cheese. Most curiously, bacon was NOT an add-on, in fact, there was no bacon on the menu at all. Non-distinctive bun, fine, just nothing special.

It was a great burger, not in my top 10, but certainly the best burger I had in Atlanta that day.

Bonus Pickle!


1801 Howell Mill Rd #400
Atlanta, GA 30318
(404)351-1957

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Southeastern USA: RaceTrac

PDX Gwailo worries us, but is taking some for the team:

RaceTrac Petroleum is a chain of over 500 gas stations across the southeastern US. Like many retail chains, RaceTrac has discovered the beauty and profitability of “house brands,” and has followed suit with their ready to heat and ready to eat sandwiches. The RaceTrac double cheeseburger, 5.5 ounces, and 99 cents, exceeds the McDonald’s Quarter Pounder is taste, appearance, and value. All that stands between you and a late night gas station burger fix is 30 seconds in the microwave. RaceTrac’s microwaves are even idiot-proof, with pre-programmed settings for the various sandwiches.

RaceTracs have a great condiment bar, so you can dress your burger to your liking.

RaceTrac
all over the Southeast

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Capitol Hwy Deli Market

I can only think Hypoglycemia was involved, but who is too judge, someone has got to do the duty and PDX Gwailo obliges:

At first blush, your fear is probably that this is going to be a non-meat story. T’aint so. It is, however, about an “alternative” burger, one that might be as close as your corner, like it is mine.

Pre-cooked somewhere west of Wherethehellisthat? Ohio, flash-frozen (one hopes) and shipped to a corner mini mart, office vending machine, or aircraft carrier near you, the Big-Az burger with processed American cheese slice, boasts a full 9.65 ounces of flavor on a sesame seed bun, all for less than $3.

It comes sans condiments, allowing you to decorate at your whim. My choice, as pictured, is pickle, onion, mustard. And some potato by-product from Lay’s that I had around the house. If you think the bun looks kinda squished, you’re right. My fault.

This particularly delicious delight requires some home preparation, obviously. I get the best results by doing the bun and patty separately, or at least for different lengths of time. Your mileage may vary.

I know, I know, you’re asking “gwailo, how did you discover such a tasty morsel?” Well, you see kids, my significant better 2/3rds doesn’t care for ground beef, in any form or fashion, so I am compelled to seek the manna of the gods outside of my domestic environs. My connection for the Big-Az is the corner liquor store, @ Pomona and Capitol Highway, spitting distance from my house. To reduce my carbon footprint, I limit my burgers to those within walking distance.

And avoid places that promise “locally harvested sustainable beef.” I abstain from sustain. I won’t be on the planet long enough to care.

I know you are dubious. But these are honestly better than any fast food burgers, with the exception of Fatburger and In N Out, both of which have not graced Portland with their presence. It has always struck me as odd that Fatburger is owned by a Portland company, but doesn’t have an outlet here.

Perhaps a tea party is in order?

Capital Highway Deli Market
11102 SE Capitol Hwy
Portland, OR 97219
(503)245-1676

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