Burger Skills: Grilling Season

Grilling season is in full swing and PattyPusher fires up the BBQ and probably washes is down with some Drank.

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Slow Bar: UPDATED 04.15.08

UPDATE: 04.15.08




Hey, we all know it's time to pay the man, but you really can't stop eating the burger version of architect fish n chips. PattyDaddy and and one of our best photographers HambaghaStakee can't stop:

Bloody Mary with tomato infused vodka was AWESOME! And the burgers... (Slow top, Winter bottom)... just like everyone else says except they forgot to say HOLY FREAKIN' COW these are good. Man. About the best anyone could ever hope for in a hamburger. Really. This is it. This is what it's all about. It's beyond words. Go to Slow Bar and eat and drink. Go there now. Eat and drink. It's so good. So good... t's genius. Honestly. Go there. God it's good.

Cooked to order still only $9 each. Bloody $6.50. Plan on a big tip 'cause it's worth it.

UPDATE: 03.23.08






Folks can't get enough of this burger:

Burgermeister and PattyPusher had an awesome Saturday afternoon burgering date.

Burgermeister decided on the never disappointing Slowburger, which is a towering monster hell-bent on intimidation: Onion rings, Gueyure cheese, and cherry tomato relish. Burgermeister isn't afraid (once again, Strawberry Mountain Beef. Delicious.)

Pattypusher opted for the less daunting, yet brilliantly crafted Winter Slowburger: Cheddar, Blue Cheese, Panchetta, and the Tomato Relish. PattyPusher had this to say: "Cherry tomato relish has succeeded in being what ketchup wishes it was".

Please note the bloody mary, it's heavenly.

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UPDATE: 11.20.07




The Slow Bar has become a Portland Hamburgers favorite. WhopperChomper and ToastedBun give us their take:

WhopperChomper & ToastedBun stopped by Slowbar on a slow Sunday night to watch some football and eat red-meat... Like any good American should.

ToastedBun went with the Slowburger, $9...Good to great burger & fixins. Bun got soggy toward the end which made consuming that last 1/8 lb fairly difficult. Sadly, the fries were lukewarm.

WhopperChomper had the Winter Slowburger, $9. 1/2 lb strawberry mountain natural beef, rogue creamery oregon blue cheese, grilled pancetta, cherry tomato relish. The burger rocked as always, and I particularly like the cherry tomato relish which adds a delicate touch to a not-so-delicate burger. My fries were also lukewarm & the ketchup was ICE cold. Cold ketchup is a weird complaint, but I'm very particular and it’s not good when your fries aren’t hot.

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UPDATE: 11.9.07



DJ Izm gives us a taste of his favorite burger in town.

He also has a taste of his trade. From Uffie to Soul II Soul, to some updated version of the Percolator mashed with The Crystals "Then He Kissed Me". Yep, he has a mix you can download: LINK

The Slow Bar burger is my favorite. $9 (extra w bacon), 1/2 pound Strawberry Mountain beef, lettuce, tomato, Gruyere cheese, and two Onion Rings on a perfect sesame seed bun. Served with either fries or salad.

Also available and really good the Slow Bar Winter Burger

1/2 pound Strawberry Mt beef, lettuce, tomato, pancetta, blue cheese, and a tomato relish, on a perfect sesame seed bun. Served with either fries or salad.

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POST: 8.28.07



Everyone told Hamburgler he should go there, and off he went:

Best $9.45 the Hamburgler has spent in a long time (usually a penny pincher when it comes to burger, but I will be handing them my dollars over and over again.) The "Slowburger" was perfect, juicy, and delicious.

This 1/2 lb. slab of ground beef from Strawberry Mountain, gruyere, onion rings, butter lettuce, pickle relish is unstoppable.

Slow Bar
533 SE Grand Ave.
Portland, OR 97214
(503) 230-7767

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Hanigan's ( The Vern )

PattyPusher puts on the Bruno Gerussi and gets down to business:

Coming across a friend with a burger at The Vern, I thought "Really? You eat here? I don't even like to touch things in here." He assured me that the kitchen was up to scratch and that he only had a few of the $4 pitchers clouding his judgment.

That's a Vernburger. Seven bucks worth of patty, bacon, ham, cheese, grilled onion and the usuals. The fries were a little over salted, which is too bad 'cause they were crispy and hot, but every thing else was seriously spot on. Who'd have thought the Vern would have it in it?

At this point I had to commend his bravery to be so undaunted by the exterior and find such a hidden gem. Not to mention the speed with which he put that thing away. "In the name of God and St Michael and St George, I dub thee Hairburger!" Thus newly christened, he explained his "leave no crumb behind" policy and was heard murmuring "I could almost go for another." The force is strong with this one.

Hanigan's ( The Vern )
2622 SE Belmont St.
Portland, OR 97214
(503)233-7851

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Colorado: Good Times (Denver)

PattyPusher hits up the Burgerville of Colorado:

A familiar sight on Colfax. Good Times is kind of the Burgerville of Denver with seasonal specials, seasoned fries and Coleman Natural Beef. They do still use the plastic cheese though. Oh, and they’re drive through/walk up only.

After ordering a Classic Deluxe with Cheese combo for five bucks (plus tax, forgot about that stuff), PattyPusher contemplated the staggering number of these that he consumed in high school. Wherever his old Volvo is now, it probably still has Good Times wrappers stuffed in some corner that were impossible to remove. This is one of the best fast food burgers out there and comes with all the latest accessories. Ok, well at least LTO, ketchup, mayo and pickles.

Good Times #113
3909 E Colfax Ave.
Denver, CO 80220
(303)321-1102

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Colorado: Ted's Montana Grill (Littleton)

PattyPusher has been out in Colorado this holiday season and shares some of his burgering:

PattyPusher has tasted the burgers of the Colorado Front Range and they are almost as crazy as his family at X-mas time. As soon as said nutters were made aware of his brown biscuit passions plans were laid to procure the most sacred of nourishment at Ed’s, a legendary tavern up in the hills. No lettuce, no tomato, no fries, no high falutin’ micro brews , no f#@&ing around. Closed for a week for the holidays?!?! Dammit! Ok, My Brother’s Bar then, not to be confused with My Father’s Place. What? Also Shuttered?!?! Lunacy!! Conspiracy!!!!

Finally finding a joint that understood that burgers are more important than some dead guy’s birthday, the hamburgling commenced.

Ted’s Montana Grill is apparently a chain with “World Famous” burgers. Mr. Pusher had the Buffalo, Swiss, Mushroom, and Sour cream for a whopping $11.95. One would expect that at that world famous price medium rare would actually be medium rare, but otherwise it was open-a-can-o-whoop-ass kick-ass. Half pound Buffalo patty and the regulars, tasty hand cut fries, and the pickles were obviously in-house made with tons of garlic and coriander. Win!

Ted's Montana Grill
7301 S. Santa Fe Drive, Suite 610
Littleton, CO 80120
720-283-2303

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Mock Crest

The PattyPusher returns with Burger-FreeBurger, and finds Mock Crest after a recent cyclecross race:

Let’s start by saying Patty Pusher is not that bright. He actually pays money to ride his bicycle in the worst circumstances imaginable. After the recent USGP of cyclocross race at PIR, where conditions were “epic” (see pic 1), he had a powerful craving for an “epic” burger to match.

Guided by some kind of mystic forces, probably the gale force winds of the day, he miraculously landed at Mocks Crest Tavern with his sherpa, Burger-FreeBurger. While Burger-FreeBurger has taken a vow of critterless eating, she was a fabulous guide in steering the pair to hot toddies that brought sweet sweet circulation back to Patty Pusher’s toes. Once able to focus on the menu instead of frozen appendages, he quickly zeroed in on the words Burger, Swiss, and Tots. Done and done.

The burger arrives and is luckily documented before it disappears. While possibly not deserving the “Portland’s Best Burger” designation it gets in the menu, the meat is sweet, the LTO fresh, the mayo thick, and the Tots hot ‘n’ crispy. Totally worth the $6.95. The burgerless burger had by Ms. Burger-FreeBurger was with a Gardenburger patty and the usual suspects, also fully respectable.

Bonus Pickle!

Mock Crest
3435 N Lombard St,
Portland, OR 97217
(503) 283-5014

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The Maiden (formerly Maiden In The Mist)

A couple Portland Hamburglers meet up in search of sliders and ended up at The Maiden. Well, as it happens our own "PattyPusher" was up on the grill (not much of a surprise) exclaiming "photo time in the kitchen....I make sexy." [ Who gets you hot kitchen burger action....Portland Hamburglers..thats who ]


The Maiden has three burger configurations that come with chips or salad (no fries).

"Burgertime" "SpecialSauce" and the "Hamburgler" went with the sliders. These were great. Carmilized onions and cheddar dressed at $6.00/per 3 (or $4.00/per 3 at happy hours 3 to 6pm and 12 to 2am).


"HoldEverything" went with the Maiden Burger for $8.00. Chevre, roasted garlic, mushrooms, and natural beef sounded like a good way to top off a 45 mile bike ride.


They also have a cheeseburger for $7.00 and happy hour bucket of 5 Millers for $5.00 (full bar too).

Bonus Pickle!

The Maiden
639 SE Morrison
Portland, OR 97214
(503)232-5553

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